The paragraph

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Rkcapps
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The paragraph

Postby Rkcapps » Tue, 03 Jul 2018 11:31 am


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pres
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Re: The paragraph

Postby pres » Tue, 03 Jul 2018 8:30 pm

According to the article, internal dialogue is frequently written in italics. Alice (for example) just speaks to herself in conventional dialogue using "she said aloud", "she thought to herself" and the like. I've been using the Alice method, and I'm now starting to think I should move more towards the more recent turn of the century. I'll probably go over to the italics. Are there other accepted methods, or are these two pretty much it?

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Rkcapps
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Re: The paragraph

Postby Rkcapps » Tue, 03 Jul 2018 9:30 pm

This is a method I use:

From a book on Deep POV by Marcy Kennedy: "Point of view can be a confusing topic for writers because of how closely it ties to showing vs. telling and internal dialogue. Whether or not to italicize internal dialogue is a question of formatting and not one of whether you’re writing in a deep or shallow point of view. The guidelines for italicizing our internal dialogue are outside the scope of this book, but generally speaking, we’ll have less italicized internal dialogue in a book written in deep POV than we will in a book written in a shallower POV. This is because we only italicize internal dialogue when it’s what’s called direct internal dialogue. Direct internal dialogue is written in first-person present tense regardless of the tense and person of the rest of the story. Because they’re italicized, they draw attention to themselves."

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CageSage
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Re: The paragraph

Postby CageSage » Tue, 03 Jul 2018 10:03 pm

"she said aloud", "she thought to herself"


I think 'she said aloud' is exactly the same as saying 'she said' and 'she thought to herself' is annoying because I wonder who else she could think it to.
These methods are 'shallow' in terms of deep POV and external to the character - it's obviously the narrator speaking and not the character.
I prefer to 'become' the character (think method acting) as I 'live' the story in her shoes.

Just my opinion, and I'm happy to hear other thoughts on the issue.

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pres
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Re: The paragraph

Postby pres » Tue, 03 Jul 2018 11:09 pm

Thank you both for the help. The Alice example is more Victorian than my minimalist take, but, same approach. I'm going to change it.

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Rath Darkblade
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Re: The paragraph

Postby Rath Darkblade » Wed, 04 Jul 2018 12:26 am

Are there any situations in which the words "he thought" can be used - e.g. "insert thought here, he thought"?

Also, is it possible - after the protagonist (character A) leaves the scene - for character B to (briefly) become the protagonist and exchange words with character C about what just transpired? :)
There is nothing wrong with nepotism, so long as you keep it all in the family. (Winston Churchill)

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Re: The paragraph

Postby Rkcapps » Wed, 04 Jul 2018 1:33 am

I think it's a question of style. Brandon Sanderson uses it often in The Way of Kings. A bestseller. It's a personal choice whether you use it, but it is a shallower POV compared to the deep POV. As Cage says, you're aware of the narrator/author. Up to you what you prefer.

If it's A's POV scene, then no to your scenario. If it was a scene in b's POV, then yes. Make sense?

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Re: The paragraph

Postby CageSage » Wed, 04 Jul 2018 8:54 am

If you end a scene with something that resonates - a barbed comment or action - and the next scene is the antag ... gates open.
There's also the open loop of the story - by ending the scene on a moment that can be played later into a 'thing' it will enable a pique for the reader to need to see how the antag responds (in his scene, so a whole scene for the reaction to the comment? is it big enough for that? Important enough to the story?).
All a matter of choice, but sometimes it's worth considering how a reader would accept the break in flow of story just to get a few lines of reaction - it may work, but ...
I don't think I have the experience to do that type of thing yet, but I am working on a story where one conversation/action leads into antag reaction - it's difficult to get it just right, and sometimes, I have to put things between just to 'smooth' the flow for the reader (too much jumping from head to head distracts from reader connection).
My opinion only, and it's not worth more than a threepence (or two cents).


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